How to become more YOU while giving so much away
It turns out that motherhood isn’t just about growing and raising a child—it’s about growing and raising yourself, too. For me, I definitely thought I was ready for this crazy motherhood journey, but it turns out I had a lot to learn. I wasn’t ready for the hormonal shifts in the postpartum period which lead to heightened emotions, mood swings, and, at times, anxiety. It reshapes the way we think, feel, and approach the world – it is possibly one of the biggest transformations a woman will experience.
Newfound Purpose: Your North Star
Before motherhood, priorities often revolve around personal and professional ambitions. While these remain important, the why behind our actions can shift dramatically. Suddenly, there’s a new layer of meaning in everything we do. Understanding this why—our deep-rooted purpose—allows us to navigate change with confidence and conviction. It becomes our North Star, guiding us when we feel off course.
For example, before becoming a mother, I thought I needed to be a certain weight to look good. That was my motivation for fitness. But after having my babies, that wasn’t enough to keep me consistent. I struggled to prioritise exercise, constantly battling mum guilt whenever I chose a workout over staying home. It took me years to realise that my real why had changed. I wanted to be fit so I could easily pick up my boys, chase them around, and play sports with them as they grew.
Now, every time I have to decide between pressing snooze or getting up for a run, I come back to that why. And every time, it helps me make a choice that aligns with my purpose. But even when we discover this deeper purpose, it’s easy to lose ourselves in the daily demands of motherhood.
It wasn’t always like this
It’s definitely been a journey for me. I went through a period of time after I became a mother where I was putting all of the focus on the children – what they were eating, if their bedroom was the right temperature, when their naptimes were, that I got lost in the background. It became a vicious cycle – less me, more them – and so it continued. Because our actions form our reality, our thoughts, our feelings, our identity.
It took me time to realise that I needed to be intentional with my actions, to actively put myself back in the picture and to prioritise myself again so that I could thrive, not just survive through motherhood.
Part of my journey was understanding the different aspects of wellbeing, of self-care so to speak – across mind, body and soul. The power of considering mind, body, and soul in self-care and holistic wellbeing lies in their deep interconnection—each influencing the other in a continuous cycle. When we nurture one, we naturally support the others. A calm mind can ease tension in the body; a strong, well-nourished body can provide clarity and stability for the mind; and a fulfilled soul, enriched through purpose and connection, can bring balance to both.
True wellbeing comes from aligning these three elements. If we focus only on physical health but neglect our mental and emotional needs, we might feel disconnected or unfulfilled. Similarly, prioritising mindfulness without movement or proper nourishment can leave us feeling stagnant. By integrating all three, we create a foundation for sustainable self-care.
The energy of the mind is the essence of life
As Aristotle wisely said, "The energy of the mind is the essence of life." And that’s why the mind is a great place to start. Motherhood is a transformative experience, not just for the body but profoundly for the mind. Hormonal shifts during pregnancy and the postpartum period can lead to heightened emotions, mood swings, and, in some cases, anxiety or depression. Studies indicate that up to one in five women experience mental health issues during this time. To nurture our minds amidst these changes, we focus on two primary levers: Pause and Expand. Let’s take a closer look:
Pause
This lever reminds us to slow down and be present. If we can carve out moments for stillness—whether through deep breathing, meditation, or even something as simple as a mindful face massage—we give ourselves space to reflect on our purpose and align with it.
For me this looks like taking deep breaths when overwhelm creeps in, spending a few minutes every morning massaging my face when applying my face cream (so I slow down and don’t rush off) and going for walks to clear your mind and reset. I’ve tried and tested many different things but these are the ones I keep coming back to and that have the biggest impact for me.
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